Lose that Lard-Dr. Elmo

歌手 : Dr. Elmo

专辑 : Dr. Elmo's Twisted Tunes

语种 : 英语

时长 : 03:51

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TXT Lose that Lard-Dr. Elmo 文本歌词

Lose that Lard - Dr. Elmo

Last Saturday night, the missus and me

We was puttin' on our best duds

It was bingo night at the KFC

And they were servin' free knocks and suds

She said "Hon I can't fit these pants!

Could you please come here and try it? "

I said "You and them pants'll be in splitsville, hon

Unless you go on a diet. "

Now she just turns around and stares me down

And purrs in a voice so sweet:

"So when was the last time you looked down

And was able to see your feet? "

So I snuck a peek and began to cuss

My great big white spare tire

"Let's pick a diet from a source we can trust

Our beloved National Enquirer"

Well it's gonna be hard to lose this lard

But we gotta go on a diet

She gotta go (he gotta go)

We gotta go on a diet!

We saw before and after photos you wouldn't believe

Like miracles before our eyes

My gal lost 50 pounds in one night

And 2 feet off of her thighs

I said, "Hon, here's one where you can't eat none

And you just drink through a straw

Well it wouldn't be cheap, but I'd pay a heap

To see 'em wirin' up your jaw"

She goes "Sweetie, this one's for you too

'Cause you wouldn't have to do no thinkin'

If you were on a diet, I wouldn't have to cook

And you could just keep right on drinkin'! "

Well it's gonna be hard to lose this lard

But we gotta go on a diet

She gotta go (he gotta go)

We gotta go on a diet!

We tried juice fast body wraps, pinked in Prittic

And Oprah and Dickey Simmons

They was tummy tucks, label sucks, oh 8 pounds

A way old brand of hypnotism

Oh we could go on about the diets we done

And the foods and the fat, oh brother

But suffice it to say, we woke up one day

And barely recognized each other

Now my little woman was lookin' trim

In her hot spand ur ex tights

And I was fillin' out my bowlin' shirt

With a shape that'd knock out her life

Well it sure was hard to lose that lard

But we finally went on a diet

She finally went

(he finally went)

We finally went on a diet

But as I strutted in front of the mirror

The strangest look came across her face

She said "Boy, you resemble a prune

With that loose skin all over the place! "

Well, I didn't lose a beat; I said

"Sweetie pie, I ain't never had an inkling

That underneath all that flab for years

You're so busy wrinklin'! "

Well, our eyes met and in a flash

We knew what we had to do

So we jumped in the car and ran down to the store

And loaded up on sweets and goo

Now we're livin' on candy, cookies and cake

And ice cream and all like that

'Cause the lesson we learned the hard way was

We look much better fat

Well, we worked so hard to lose that lard

But we look much better fat

She looks better

(he looks better)

We both look better fat

Well, we worked so hard to lose that lard

But we look much better fat

She looks better (he looks better)

We both look better fat