Like Blood from a Stone-Old Gray

歌手 : Old Gray

专辑 : Slow Burn

语种 : 英语

时长 : 04:24

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TXT Like Blood from a Stone-Old Gray 文本歌词

Like Blood from a Stone (像石上的血) - Old Gray

So there's this girl

A tall girl with eyes like honeycomb and jasmine

Sometimes she blows cigarette smoke in your face in the break room

And you call that love

Not because it is but because you want it to be

Because you're so goddamned lonely

So goddamned unable to handle the ocean roar in your ears

When you're alone

You tell yourself that the ash in your lungs

Is as good as a kiss goodnight

And you write poems about the smoke tendrils whispering off her lips

How beautiful they are

How like the aching arms of god you always wanted them to be

One night you're tired so very tired

Your eyes as heavy as water

You forget where you are

In the break room at a walmart at 2:30 in the morning

And you leave your notebook unattended on the table

Left out for anyone in the world to see

One of your coworkers picks it up and reads the poems

You wrote about the girl with honeycomb and jasmine

In her eyes

And you panic when you realize what just happened

Because the boy who picked up your notebook he's a cruel boy

With eyes like shotguns and razorwire

He buys you razorblades on your birthday

So you can do the job right next time you f**king freak

And you can't believe that you aren't one

Can't believe you deserve to be anything

Some days you don't even try to hide the angry marks on your arm

Like your skin is a test where you got every question wrong

One night there's a boxcutter with a brand new blade

A stack of cardboard boxes begging to feel its tooth

You dig in but something's wrong

The fiber's too gnarled and you can't seem to cut clean

You push hard as you can feel the stiff tangle of glue give way

And there's blood on the floor

The blade half an inch in your wrist but you don't feel it

The shift manager is in your ear

Angry because he has to take you to the hospital

And there's a janitor who'll forever hold it against

You for staining his clean clean floor

And there's everyone you work with and their hostile eyes glaring

Knowing this was always always coming along

That there's that cacophony

All those ghosts reminding you of your destiny for failure

And there's another blade

And there's a bottle of pills a fifth of vodka a hospital visit

Two weeks of inpatient

While your whole family prays for you to get better

There's a doctor with blank eyes who never looks at you

He's always scribbling things on his clipboard

Everything you say he documents even when you're not talking to him

You don't smoke

But you still go out for smoke breaks with everyone else on the ward

Because there's nothing else to do but stare at the walls

And wait for the next group session to start

So you hang out in the courtyard not smoking cigarettes but still

Befriending those who do

And there's a man

Maybe ten years older than you

With eyes like roughcut pine and sunset

He notices you don't smoke so he tries to stay downwind from you so he

Doesn't exhale in your face

He tells you it's okay bud

We'll get through this and be better when we leave this place than it was

When we got here

And he's telling you the truth

And you believe him

One day

The doctor who doesn't look at you comes to your room

And tells you that your insurance isn't paying for anymore days

So you're all better now

And you leave

Your mom picks you up in the lobby and her eyes are the most worried

Kindness you've ever seen and you go home

And you fight off the ghosts which is easier now than it was before

Because now you have a better set of tools today

And your life goes on like it was meant to

Like you were always supposed to survive the fight

You stop writing poems about smoke tendrils trailing off the lips

You once wanted to kiss

Or about how your loneliness is so unbearable

Because now you write poems about how to stay alive

You write poems about the places

You feel at home rather than the places you wish you could be

One day you catch a glimpse of someone in the mirror

And there you are

Eyes like stubbornness and struggle

Like the brick buildings in abandoned factory towns

That refuse to fall completely

You look at all the scars

The history etched into your arms

Like a road map of where you used to be

Versus the endless possibilities of where you are

And where you can go now

And the smoke tendrils

Once midnight black and swirling above your head break away

Leaving nothing in your view except the sky

And it is so perfect

And it is so clear