Cheese Shop-Monty Python
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TXT Cheese Shop-Monty Python 文本歌词
The scene：
An edwardian style shop which carries the signs：
'Ye olde cheese emporium'
'Henry wensleydale purveyor of fine cheese to the gentry and the poverty stricken too'
'Licensed for public dancing'
Two men dressed as city gents are greek dancing in the corner to the music of a bouzouki
Mousebender enters
Mousebender：
Good morning
Wensleydale：
Good morning sir
Welcome to the national cheese emporium
Mousebender：
Ah thank you my good man
Wensleydale：
What can I do for you sir
Mousebender：
Well I was uh sitting in the public library on thurmond street just now skimming through rogue herries by hugh walpole and I suddenly came over all peckish
Wensleydale：
Peckish sir
Mousebender：
Esurient
Wensleydale：
Eh
Mousebender：
In a broad yorkshire accent
Eee I were all hungry like
Wensleydale：
Ah hungry
Mousebender：
In a nutshell
And I thought to myself 'a little fermented curd will do the trick'
So I curtailed my walpoling activites sallied forth and infiltrated your place of purveyance to negotiate the vending of some cheesy comestibles
Wensleydale：
Come again
Mousebender：
I want to buy some cheese
Wensleydale：
Oh I thought you were complaining about the bouzouki player
Mousebender：
Oh heaven forbid
I am one who delights in all manifestations of the terpsichorean muse
Wensleydale：
Sorry
Mousebender：
In a broad yorkshire accent
Ooo I like a nice tune you're forced to
Wensleydale：
So he can go on playing can he
Mousebender：
Most certainly
Now then some cheese please my good man
Wensleydale：
Certainly sir
What would you like
Mousebender：
Well eh how about a little red leicester
Wensleydale：
I'm afraid we're fresh out of red leicester sir
Mousebender：
Oh never mind how are you on tilsit
Wensleydale：
I'm afraid we never have that at the end of the week sir
We get it fresh on Monday
Mousebender：
Tish tish
No matter
Well stout yeoman four ounces of caerphilly if you please
Wensleydale：
Ah
It's been on order sir for two weeks
I was expecting it this morning
Mousebender：
It's not my lucky day is it
Er bel paese
Wensleydale：
Sorry sir
Mousebender：
Red windsor
Wensleydale：
Normally sir yes
Today the van broke down
Mousebender：
Ah
Stilton
Wensleydale：
Sorry
Mousebender：
Emmental
Gruyre
Wensleydale：
No
Mousebender：
Any norwegian jarlsberger per chance
Wensleydale：
No
Mousebender：
Liptauer
Wensleydale：
No
Mousebender：
Lancashire
Wensleydale：
No
Mousebender：
White stilton
Wensleydale：
No
Mousebender：
Danish blue
Wensleydale：
No
Mousebender：
Double gloucester
Wensleydale：
No
Mousebender：
Cheshire
Wensleydale：
No
Mousebender：
Dorset blue vinney
Wensleydale：
No
Mousebender：
Brie roquefort pont l'vque port salut savoyard saint paulin carre de l'est bresse bleu boursin
Wensleydale：
No
Mousebender：
Camembert perhaps
Wensleydale：
Ah we have camembert yes sir
Mousebender：
You do excellent
Wensleydale：
Yes sir
It's ah
It's a bit runny
Mousebender：
Oh I like it runny
Wensleydale：
Well it's very runny actually sir
Mousebender：
No matter
Fetch hither le fromage de la belle france m mmm
Wensleydale：
I think it's a bit runnier than you'll like it sir
Mousebender：
I don't care how f**king runny it is
Hand it over with all speed
Wensleydale：
Oh
Mousebender：
What now
Wensleydale：
The cat's eaten it
Mousebender：
Has he
Wensleydale：
She sir
Pause
Mousebender：
Gouda
Wensleydale：
No
Mousebender：
Edam
Wensleydale：
No
Mousebender：
Caithness
Wensleydale：
No
Mousebender：
Smoked austrian
Wensleydale：
No
Mousebender：
Japanese sage darby
Wensleydale：
No sir
Mousebender：
You do have some cheese do you
Wensleydale：
Of course sir
It's a cheese shop sir
We've got
Mousebender：
No no don't tell me
I'm keen to guess
Wensleydale：
Fair enough
Mousebender：
Er wensleydale
Wensleydale：
Yes
Mousebender：
Ah well I'll have some of that
Wensleydale：
Oh I thought you were talking to me sir
Mr wensleydale that's my name
Pause
Mousebender：
Greek feta
Wensleydale：
Ah not as such
Mousebender：
Er gorgonzola
Wensleydale：
No
Mousebender：
Parmesan
Wensleydale：
No
Mousebender：
Mozzarella
Wensleydale：
No
Mousebender：
Pippo crme
Wensleydale：
No
Mousebender：
Danish fimboe
Wensleydale：
No
Mousebender：
Czech sheep's milk
Wensleydale：
No
Mousebender：
Venezuelan beaver cheese
Wensleydale：
Not today sir no
Pause
Mousebender：
Ah how about cheddar
Wensleydale：
Well we don't get much call for it around here sir
Mousebender：
Not much ca it's the single most popular cheese in the world
Wensleydale：
Not round here sir
Mousebender：
And what is the most popular cheese round here
Wensleydale：
Ilchester sir
Mousebender：
Is it
Wensleydale：
Oh yes sir
It's staggeringly popular in this manor squire
Mousebender：
Is it
Wensleydale：
It's our number one best seller sir
Mousebender：
I see
Ah ilchester eh
Wensleydale：
Right sir
Mousebender：
All right
Okay
Have you got any he asked expecting the answer no
Wensleydale：
I'll have a look sir
Nnnnnnooooooooo
Mousebender：
It's not much of a cheese shop is it
Wensleydale：
Finest in the district sir
Mousebender：
Explain the logic underlying that conclusion please
Wensleydale：
Well it's so clean sir
Mousebender：
It's certainly uncontaminated by cheese
Wensleydale：
You haven't asked me about limberger sir
Mousebender：
Is it worth it
Wensleydale：
Could be
Mousebender：
Have you shut that bloody bouzouki up
Wensleydale：
To dancers
Told you so
Mousebender：
Have you got any limburger
Wensleydale：
No
Mousebender：
That figures
Predictable really I suppose
It was an act of purest optimism to have posed the question in the first place
Tell me：
Wensleydale：
Yes sir
Mousebender：
Have you in fact got any cheese here at all
Wensleydale：
Yes sir
Mousebender：
Really
Pause
Wensleydale：
No
Not really sir
Mousebender：
You haven't
Wensleydale：
No sir not a scrap
I was deliberately wasting your time sir
Mousebender：
Well I'm sorry but I'm going to have to shoot you
Wensleydale：
Right o sir
Mousebender：
Shoots him
What a senseless waste of human life
Cheese Shop-Monty Python 推荐歌曲
The Final Rip Off专辑下载
（1987-01-01）