The Return Of Albert (Albert Comes Back)-Stanley Holloway

歌手 : Stanley Holloway

专辑 : The Classic Monologues (Digitally Remastered)

语种 : 英语

时长 : 04:29

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TXT The Return Of Albert (Albert Comes Back)-Stanley Holloway 文本歌词

The Return Of Albert (Albert Comes Back) - Stanley Holloway

You've heard how young Albert Ramsbottom

In the zoo up at Blackpool one year

With a stick with a horse's head handle

Gave a lion a poke in the ear

The name of the lion was Wallace

The poke in the ear made him wild

And before you could say Bob's your uncle

He'd up and he'd swallowed the child

He were sorry the moment he'd done it

With children he'd always been chums

And besides he'd no teeth in his noddle

And he couldn't chew Albert on the gums

He could feel the lad movin' inside him

As he lay on his bed of dried ferns

And it might have been little lad's birthday

He wished him such happy returns

But Albert kept kicking and fighting

Till Wallace arose feeling bad

And felt it were time that he started

To stage a comeback for the lad

So with his head down in a corner

On his front paws he started to walk

And he coughed and he sneezed and he gargled

'Till Albert shot out like a cork

Old Wallace felt better directly

And his figure once more became lean

But the only difference with Albert

Was his face and his hands were quite clean

Meanwhile mister and missus Ramsbottom

And gone home to tea feelin' blue

Ma says I feel down in the mouth like

Pa says aye I bet Albert does too

Said ma it just goes for to show yer

That the future is never revealed

If I'd thought we was goin' to lose him

I'd have not had his boots soled and heeled

Let's look on the bright side said father

What can't be helped must be endured

Every cloud has a silvery lining

And we did have young Albert insured

A knock on the door came that moment

As father these kind words did speak

'Twas the man from the prudential he'd called for

Their tuppence per person per week

When father saw who had been knockin'

He laughed and he kept laughin' so

That the young man said what's there to laugh at

Pa said you'll laugh and all when you know

Excuse him for laughing said mother

But really things happen so strange

Our Albert's been ate by a lion

You've got to pay us for a change

Said the young feller from the prudential

Now come come let's understand this

You don't mean to say that you've lost him

Ma says oh no we know where he is

When the young man had heard all the details

A purse from his pocket he drew

And he paid them with interest and bonus

The sum of nine pounds four and two

Pa had scarce got his hand on the money

When a face at the window they see

And mother says eeh look it's Albert

And father says aye it would be

Young Albert came in all excited

And started his story to give

And pa says I'll never trust lions

Again not as long as I live

The young feller from the ]prudential

To pick up the money began

And father says eeh just a moment

Don't be in a hurry young man

Then giving young Albert a shilling

He said pop off back to the zoo

Here's yer stick with the horse's head handle

Go and see wot the tigers can do